im speaking in the name of a friend who is 28 yrs and still not married. However lateley, he is involved in masturbation.

Question ID: 
1905
rid***@gmail.com asks:

Question

Aslm. I ll get to the point directly.im speaking in the name of a friend who is 28 yrs and still not married. However lateley, he is involved in masturbation. He does not really know wats happening to him but its becoming like a habit. Plus he told me hes using apps such as snapchat whereby sometimes he even shows his private part to girls he meets online.hes in a real problem and want to knw how to make sincere tawba and stop these haraam things. I appologise if i have used indecent words but i l think its the best way i could explain his problem. I would appreciate if i could be answered on the mail i provided. 

DjzakAllah

Answer

Walaikum salaam wa rahmatullah,

Respected brother,
First of all, it’s good to know that your friend is concerned about this unfortunate practice, Al-Hamdulillah. This is the first step. May Allah make it easy for him to free himself from this problem, grant him strength and make him, and all of us, pious and righteous individuals with whom Allah and his beloved Messenger (Allah bless him & give him peace) are pleased.
Masturbation is an extremely unhealthy practice, considered unlawful and sinful in our tradition, which has many personal and societal ill-effects known and recognized by Muslims and many non-Muslims alike. It affects a person in the long-run, ruining one’s marriage, impairing one’s physical health, reducing one’s ability to be proactive in the daily chores, and harming one’s religious and spiritual growth by distancing one from one’s Lord. Once an addiction is formed to masturbate, the habit continues even after marriage, and in some cases, till one’s old age. Masturbation can also lead to psychological impotence. Becoming accustomed to a specific form of sexual gratification, a man will prefer watching porn and satisfying himself instead of having sexual relations with his wife. Hence, this practice must be shunned immediately.

As for practical ways of getting rid of this habit, We suggest the following for him:
1) Take all necessary means to control your sexual desire (shahwa), and avoid anything and everything that may lead you to masturbate. As such:

a) Guard your gaze against casting it lustfully at women. Avoid going unnecessarily to areas where there is fitna and a greater likelihood of you seeing women dressed immodestly such as shopping malls and town-centers (especially on weekend nights). Try your best in finding alternatives for places of Fitna. If your work or studies involve being around a lot of women, consider alternatives. See if you can find a job where there is relatively less fitna, and if that is not possible, avoid spending unnecessary time there especially around immodestly dressed females. Make sure to turn your gaze as soon as you see anything inciting such as a billboard advertisement which has immodest images. Completely avoid places where there is casual free mixing of the opposite genders.

b) Do not watch TV even for news or sports. Avoid surfing the internet unnecessarily, especially when you are alone. When there is a need, try using the internet in a public place or when your family members are around you. In particular, avoid YouTube and other similar sites where there is a greater risk of seeing something Haram.

c) Delete all applications on your phones that may tempt you to revert to these evil practices. Take courage and delete them all and block all your illicit contacts. You will definitely find inner peace after sometime.

2) Always be around family members and other people; try not being alone unless when necessary. Do not sleep alone in your room, and do not have TV or internet to yourself.

3) Avoid bad company, and endeavor to stay in the company of the pious and righteous, in the Mosque, and with learned Ulama as much as possible.

4) Try and fast as much as possible, and generally eat less especially foods that may stir your sexual desire such as meat and dairy products.

5) Continually ask Allah, especially after the Fard prayers, to free you from this habit.

6) Involve yourself with acts of worship as much as possible, like reciting the Qur’an, Dhikr and Salawat.

7) Consider marriage. The jurists (fuqaha) state that if one is overwhelmed with sexual desire to the extent that they fear committing a sin, marriage becomes obligatory. Speak to your parents and start looking for a suitable spouse with whom you can fulfill your desires in a Halal way.

8) Finally, there is nothing more effective in helping you avoid this sinful habit than exercising your will-power (himma) and fighting against your lower, desiring self (nafs) and your sexual appetite. It may be a good idea to impose a monetary or another form of penalty on yourself every time the sin is committed. Continue the struggle wholeheartedly and you will see the benefits, InshaAllah.
May Allah protect us all, Ameen.

Answered by:
Our panel of Muftis,
Jamiatul ulama of Mauritius