I work and i took loans which my husband were unaware of.

Question

Assalaamoualaikoum,

I work and i took loans which my husband were unaware of. My husband always says that the one who contributes is the one who directs. As such, I was always left behind in almost all his doings. All that is important for him is his family. When he got to know of the loan , he created much chaos. Finally I returned home. Meanwhile he has been backbiting and talking ill about my parents and myself with all other relatives. I bear him with much patience. I am always out of picture in all the things he does. He humiliates me lots and lots. In November 2018, he performed umrah and there also his mother and himself has talked a lot of bad bout me. Some of the people who went there has told my relatives and they are starting to tell my parents that he has been doing so for the past years. I have 2 daughters and I left home . I bear my expenses and that of my children. He is very shortminded and says that he cannot feed me when I earn and misusing my money. The truth is that he hardly do any thing for us. He only buy 'Commissions and that also not every month' 'Li gueter quand manquer liacheter'. I amreally fed up and want proper solution. Besides i know thst in islam the money of the wife remains her property.But not fearing Allah he is humiliating me and my parents. This is unnacceptable as he has no rights to do so. He is not even taking the responsibility of nikah as it should be. When I try to reason him, he says that my tongue will cause my downfall. I fear Allah is witnessing all his oppression and that sooner or later there will be his downfall. Can you please advise me.Besides whenever we quarrel, he would ask me to leave his house saying that he is feeding a snake. And whenever I talk about civil marriage he would say that we have contracted nikah before Allah. Where is his fear of Allah? I know that I did a mistake for the loan but he just doesn't have any right to oppress me when he is not fulfilling his rights as a responsible husband. When he returned from umrah, he said to me that he has quitted cigarettes but e have seen him smoking and when asked he says that all this is because of me when I quarrel with him. I work, look after my children, their homework, cook, and do all the chores, my daughter of 13 years do help me. But what about him?After work he goes to his mum's and sits with her and her sister in law and will gossip about others. At times he doesn't even eat at home saying that the food is filthy.All this mkes me harsh and disrespectful towards him I agree. I am really fed up of him.Besides he has been saying with many of my relatives that he is staying with me only because of our children. To tell the truth, he is not even bothered about them. He only cares for his family and nieces.I really hate this attitude as I konw that he is failing with the Ammanah given to him By Allah and Allah konws best.

Any advise please on how to safeguard our marriage.