JEALOUSY

Wishing for the misfortune of a person in regards to a favour or something good that he possesses is called jealousy. For example, if a person's heart burns when he sees another person in well-being and he wishes for his misfortune, it means that this person is jealous of the person who is in well-being.

Regulations of jealousy

Jealousy is Haraam and it is a shameful attitude that a person adopts towards the next person. In a Hadith, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"Jealousy consumes good deeds just like fire consumes wood." (Abu Daawud)

It is a way of being in conflict with the decision of Allah Ta’ala. Such a person can never prosper in worldly life and in Aakhirah. He remains unfortunate, sad and miserable all the time. He cannot take benefit with the little that he has as he keeps thinking about ways to harm the next person.

How to combat jealousy?

Jealousy is a malady which has a cure and a solution just as all maladies have their cure. At the outset, before speaking about the cure, we should understand why a person is jealous of his friend and is not jealous of his children? The answer is clear: he loves his children. He has affection for his children which makes him wish for their progress, success and advancement. A labourer will always want his children to become doctors, engineers, etc. This will never render him jealous. This is because he has love for them. Where there is affection, there is no rivalry. So, there will be no bestiality in the form of jealousy. 

As for a stranger or a person for whom one does not have any affection, one will always tend to vie with him. Where there will be rivalry, there will be bestiality in the form of jealousy. So, it is a lack of love, sincerity and affection that develops this malady. Therefore, this necessitates developing love, sincerity and affection in order to combat and resist this virus of jealousy.

How to develop love?

First of all, one must inculcate love and affection for Allah Ta’ala in the heart. And this is only achieved by remaining in the obedience of Allah Ta’ala in accordance to the Sunnah of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) under the instruction and supervision of a Sheikh-e-Kaamil. Once this affection has set in, everything becomes easy as love and affection contains a type of vitamin that renders everything easy. Continue staying awake when one is feeling sleepy, not eating and drinking when one is feeling hungry and thirsty, and even sacrificing one’s life becomes easy. It is a stage where a person does not live for himself. He lives for the pleasure and in the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala. His taste and disgust are motivated by the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala. At this stage, he loves his friend for the sake of Allah Ta’ala. He also hates him for the sake of Allah Ta’ala.

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: "The one who loves for the sake of Allah Ta’ala, has enmity for the sake of Allah Ta’ala, gives for the sake of Allah and refuses for the sake of Allah Ta’ala - is a person who has perfected his Imaan." (Abu Daawud)

That’s how the love that a person has for Allah Ta’ala makes him wish for the well-being of the next person and prevents him from ill-treating him out of jealousy.

An advice

When one is jealous of a person, then, one should do everything to win over his love which in turn, will combat the jealousy. To get his love, from time to time, one should visit him. If one has the means, one may give him some small gifts. One should flatter him and speak well about him in his absence with his friends. In the beginning, it will be a bit hard and difficult – but eventually, with the passing of time, one will get used to it and it will become easy. If one acts in this way and the other person has a sense of affection, he will also develop a special attention for one and this will develop into an unimaginable love. If this much also has not been realised / achieved, at least, the animosity will not be intense.

"... Act in an appropriate way, and the one between yourself and whom there was enmity will instantly become like your bosom friend." (S 41: V 34)

It is to be noted that a person, who tries his best to combat jealousy, is, in reality, doing Jihaad which earns a lot of rewards by Allah Ta’ala.

[English version of "La jalousie" – Al Jamiat – Vol.1 No.8]